i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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