What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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