It was confusing and full of hummus
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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