Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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