GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Green mimosas i think yes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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