we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
