I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
