I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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