This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Text me some of your sweat
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
