i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
