That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
