I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
