i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
