there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
