my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
