You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
