what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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