it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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