OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
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Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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