he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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