Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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