so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
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Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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