So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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