Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
