I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
