My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
