Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm passing your future prison.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.