Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome