Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
