It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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