Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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