A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
