similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
