I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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