I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
