you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Apparently you make a good broom.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
