i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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