Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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