Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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