C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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