Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
then he tried to convert me to islam
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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