I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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