Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
