but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
