new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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