I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
A+ Viking dick
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
