Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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