So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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