Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
