shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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