When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
