i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize