So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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