If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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