I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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