I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
