Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
