We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
