I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
