I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
